Tannishblog

I have a confession to make. The fact that I am not the least remorseful about this speaks of the depth of my depravity. I am a lousy American.

It’’s true! There is ample evidence to support this: America loves its president, I do not; America loves guns and weapons of all sorts - the bigger the better. I think they’re an extension of a subconscious, phallic-centric mentality of domination, items that are intended for all sorts of rude and violent penetrations of another’’s body. Americans like to inflict damage on… well, just about anything from feral cats in Minnesota to harmless road signs everywhere to other people who like to live differently or believe differently than all good Americans should. I like cats, and I don’’t walk the back roads with a .22 to sneak up upon wild road signs and shoot holes in them. As for other people, I have a quite un-American ““hands-off”” policy, as long as they leave me and mine alone in return.

Mostly America loves war - just a long as it’’s not here at home. I think war is a poor excuse for murder on a industrial scale, and that chills my bones.

America likes to get ““in your face,”” and ““up close and personal.”” I just like to go home to my family and stay out of my neighbors business. Americans are brash and demanding. They are ornery and abusive of their families, their friends, and they swear too much. I like consensus when my family is concerned, I give my daughter freedom to make her own choices because I trust the kid. If after fourteen years my wife and I haven’’t instilled proper values in her the fault is ours, not the school board’’s or any of her teachers. I have opened my vocabulary largely due to writing this blog, and I actively exclude words usually heard in locker rooms and traffic jams.

Americans loves their Jesus, too. Now don’’t get my wrong, I think Jesus was a great man -– very wise -– and his life is an interesting example of political tragedy writ large. But I just don’’t see the ““son of God”” connection. As for this whole “Messiah” concept many Americans adhere to…well, we could use a savior. I doubt we’’ll get ourselves out of this mess we’re in any time soon. I am a lousy American because I am a lousy at trying to be a Christian; and we all know how America is a Christian country. I’’ve even changed my religion to something from Asia -– and you can’’t get less American than that!

I don’’t drive an Esuvee; I don’’t have cable TV. In fact I don’’t watch TV at all, haven’’t for two decades, now. I’’m not planning on remaking my home into a McMansion. I don’’t believe in floating a massive credit card debt until I’’m buried; I believe in fiscal responsibility in my personal affairs and in my government. I’’m not a fan of piss-yellow beers or golden arches, Wal-Mart or Wall Drug. I’’ve never been to Cancun or to the Caribbean on vacation, either.

There: you now have my confession, and I feel much better. Thank you, Doctor.