Empathy. It’s sadly lacking on the world’s stage. Watch Sam discuss what can happen when people and nations show none.
Studying Buddhism taught me the value of Empathy and Compassion. During my Christian upbringing, no one mentioned them. In fact, I didn’t know what Compassion meant until it was explained by a high school English teacher. How sad.
This week I am again confronted with a common theme in my life: Self-absorption. This is my Karma-cleansing in progress.
For the past decade, as I embrace Buddhist tenets, I am meeting people who can show me myself as I have been. They are as different from each other as can be, but what they have in common is varying degrees of Self-Absorption. As I embrace the theory that everyone I meet in life is here to teach something, I am open to what I need to learn from them.
I grew up with people who were self-centered. Nothing outside of their worldview could be valid; and must be scorned. As I, myself, was often beyond their worldview, I was therefore scorned. As a result, I also became self-centered in defiance. Otherwise I would be destroyed as an individual, a damaged soul. Such was the vehemence of the incessant attacks against my personality and perspective. End result: and angry, self-absorbed young man tossed unto the world. I hated, was angry, couldn’t stand anyone’s views but my own.
I was miserable.
But a book changed all that. I worked in the receiving room at a Barnes & Noble when I open an incoming box and saw an elderly smiling face of the Dalai Lama shining out. He was captivating, but not as much as the title of the book: “The Art of Happiness.”
“That’s just what I need,” I thought. I was right.
I read the book, delved into its practices. I learned more about meditation and Buddhist teaching. For a while I hung out with a Shambala Temple nearby. My healing had started.
Then began the parade of Hurting souls who were mirrors of me at different phases of my earlier life. The first was red-faced Anger. The next was Intolerant and Racist. The third was a Thief, followed closely by the Egotist. Next, the Maniac and the Worrier. More recently I have met the Slacker, and this week I have to deal with the Embittered Soul. All are reflections of the person I once was. All are here, I believe, to help cleanse me of my past, to prepare me for a future rebirth where I can grow further and become more compassionate, closer to Nirvana.
The theme of Self-absorption is the reason I live this life, to rid myself of it’s influence, to raise a daughter free from it’s grip, to stare it down and transcend it. The Echoes of my Soul whom I meet, tortured people that they are, are my friends. They are here to help me. And if I can share my experiences with them, perhaps I can help them as well in their journeys toward Nirvana.
I truly hope so.
I’ve been preoccupied in recent weeks with my Only Child’s imminent entrance to College Life. She will be fine, I’m sure, as she has more life skills in hand than anyone I ever knew at that age. What I’ve been pondering is the change in home life after she’s gone.
My marriage is strong, but I would be fooling myself to say we haven’t - by necessity - grown somewhat apart. How far apart remains to be known as we both reach toward the other across the gap. Will we have the reach? This concerns me.
Too, reaching fifty years is not a happy contemplative occasion. This also awaits me near the end of this year. The lengthening list of “Lasts” this small family is accruing adds solemnity to the celebrations of High School graduation: the last orchestra concert, the last jazz band show, the last piano recital, and - occurring this weekend - her last dance recital weekend. Forthcoming is her last art lesson, her last piano lesson and other, tinier closings of a previous life. These add to the “Getting Old” feeling I haven’t shrugged off lately.
So - a changing of gears, a new beginning for my daughter as well as for my marriage. We will persevere, but not without a healthy dose of trepidation. I am reminded of a quote:
“Ten thousand flowers in spring, the moon in autumn,
a cool breeze in summer, snow in winter;
If your mind isn’t clouded by unnecessary things,
this is the best season of your life.”–Zen master Wu-men
The winners of the 2008 Blogisattva Awards were announced last Sunday. To my glee, I was honored with a win in the Best Achievement in Wonderful, Remarkable, Elegant Design category. But the best part is being introduced to so many remarkable Buddhist bloggers sharing their experiences and words. My bookmark files overfloeth.
Thank you all. Namaste.
The inclusion of this blog in a list of outstanding Buddhist blogs is surprising. I’m grateful, but perhaps unworthy. This is not exactly a “Buddhist Blog,” despite a few tentative attempts. Its more like a collection of political, leftist whining. Even in that aspect, it’s losing steam. Perhaps that’s a (insert appropriate judgment here) thing.
Neither do I necessarily feel I am a Buddhist, although I’ve taken vows, meditate (almost) daily and make continued progress to tame the mental patterns of my youth. I yearn to make a contribution to the social and spiritual awakening of your species. Reality says such an undertaking is yet beyond me; I am a Baby Buddhist, so I must make baby steps. For now, any influence I might own is small. So I focus on small tasks to positively improve the world around me:
Having such modest aims as a centerpiece of Buddhist practice, I am amazed by its effectiveness. Within my tiny sphere of influence I has seen how these changes affect those around me and spread out exponentially. And when I forget, I recall the opening lines of the Metta Sutra:
This is what should be done
By one who is skilled in goodness,
And who knows the path of peace:
Let them be able and upright,
Straightforward and gentle in speech.
Humble and not conceited,
Contented and easily satisfied.
Unburdened with duties and frugal in their ways.
Peaceful and calm, and wise and skillful,
Not proud and demanding in nature.
Let them not do the slightest thing
That the wise would later reprove…
Such are the tentative steps of a spiritual toddler on the path toward enlightenment. Its Changing my world, One smile at a time. Most of the smiles aren’t even mine.
I just learned that this humble blog is a nominee for the 2008 Blogisattva Awards. Perusing their many nominees, I see they’re promoting primarily Buddhist bloggers whom, in my opinion, can use some recognition - if even amongst ourselves. The project is quite comprehensive, boasting “26 categories of awards with an aggregate 132 nominations.” I’d love to know how they found this little blog…
Look me up under the category of:
Best Achievement in Wonderful, Remarkable Elegant Design.
(It could use a few more superlatives, perhaps?) The winners will be announced, this Sunday, Feb 24, 2008.
Cool. Thanks, good people!
No pithy quotes this week. No lengthy harangue, either. Just a quick link to a neat site I stumbled across:
Enjoy!
Whom is in control of your life?
Wait - before you shout the obvious response, please think a bit first. I challenge you; do you truly control your life? Then why are there so many things that seem to spin out of control?
One would think if ultimate mastery is ours, we would sail through to our dotage grinning. We would eliminate all that we dislike, all that we find stressful, and collect the moments and memories that we cherish.
Yet we don’t. We can’t. Why is that?
I’m not being rhetorical in my questions. The answer can be found. To do so, find a quiet, comfortable space and sit for a half hour a day and just watch your thoughts. An earnest Meditation practice can bear fruit quickly. You’ll notice when you mind recalls that argument from last week, your mental grocery list, that phone call you forgot to make yesterday, and countless other thoughts swirling past your awareness like dust in a tornado.
Sit with it. Don’t try to control the flow, or to not think of anything - that’s as futile as stopping your breath. Just feel the in and out of relaxed breathing, maintain a comfortable upright, balanced posture and let things happen as they will. When a thought arises, label it “thought,” and let is dissolve on its own.
The long and short of this practice is to know the workings of your thoughts, learn which are useful and which are not. In time your heightened sensitivity will help when, in the thick of it, an undesirable thought or emotion arises, and will enable you to let it drift like a tiny storm cloud, not to affect your day.
Then will you start to gain control of everything. Because your mind is the center of your life, once you control it every other aspect will become much more manageable. Try it and see for yourself.
Sometime’s difficult people bring out the worst in us. Watching others and judging, finding fault will not help us attain wisdom. Watching ourselves as we find fault in others is closer to the mark. Watching others and minding our own behavior, ignoring the actions of others in favor of correct actions ourselves - that is the key.
It is not proper to watch other people. This will not help your practice. If you are annoyed, watch the annoyance in your own mind. If others’ discipline is bad or they are not good monks, this is not for you to judge. You will not discover widsom watching others. Monks’ discipline is a tool to use for your own meditation. It is not a weapon to use to criticize or find fault. No one can do your practice for you, nor can you do practice for anyone else. Just be mindful of your own doings. This is the way to practice.~ Ajahn Chah, "Bodhinyana"
from "365 Buddha: Daily Meditations,"
Buddhist sentiments are not just for meditators and robe wearers. The principals found in the teaching of the historical Buddha, are found in many places, from many different sources. That’s because the Buddha didn’t teach a religion, he taught philosophy and a direct application of self awareness that reinforces the message because the teaching emanated from self inspection. This philosophy is based upon being human, what it means to be human , and how to live as a human. As such, it is universal to all people everywhere.
Still it surprises people to find harmonious teachings coming from Western sources. I shouldn’t, but it does. That’s why I feature these sources specifically: to shed light upon the universality of the Dharma.
The following quote comes from world class social advocate Dawna Markova, CEO of Professional Thinking Partners, author and guiding light behind Smart Wired, an organization devoted to teach future generations to live purposeful, enlightened lifestyles. Her focus is teaching others to live meaningful lives. Her message is sorely needed.
I will not die an unlived life.
I will not live in fear
Of falling or catching fire.
I choose to inhabit my days,
To allow my living to open me,
To make me less afraid,
More accessible;
To loosen my heart,
until it becomes a wing
a torch, a promise.
I choose to risk my significance,
to live so that which came to me as seed
goes to the next as blossom,
and that which came to me as blossom,
goes on as fruit.~ by Dawna Markova
For us to change the future into a more ideal vision of peace, ecological stewardship, justice and equality, we must teach this vision to our children, contrast current reality with future possibility and stress that they are the architects of change. Instill fearlessness in our kids, instill compassion, but mostly promote a sense of urgency, so they use their short lives well and unhesitatingly work to make their world better. Doing so manifests Dharma by improving well being of all living creatures, which is exactly what Buddhism aims for.